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| 17 TipsFor Traveling With Buddys |
Travel is awesome. Traveling with friends is much more wonderful, occasionally. Friends can either augment the epicness of an experience, or else they are able to destroy it, getting you wish you’d gone alone.
I’ve done numerous excursions that range from a couple of days to over a month with friends, and I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better at it. Which is a polite manner of saying, I’ve had a few, less than heroic experiences.
So here’s a set of dos and don’ts to create a trip with buddies as easy and argument-free as you possibly can.
1) What does everyone need?
That is by FAR the most crucial thing, and important to discuss before any further planning. Simply as you all want to go to Greece doesn’t mean you all want exactly the same thing out of it. Sure you might say “oh the seashores” and “ooo, ruins” but if you’re presuming 90% seashores and 10% ruins, and they’re believing the opposite, there’s going to be battle.
This happened to me. Some buddies and that I spent all this time planning our visit to the Netherlands and France, and once we got there, all they wanted to do was party until 5am, sleep until 3pm, and recur. I, you know, wanted to see the country we were in.
Simply since you want different things (and naturally you'll) doesn’t mean you must cancel, but we’ll get to that after.
2) How does everyone travel?
I love hostels and am totally content walking and talking public transport. I’ve traveled with a few folks that can’t picture not having a rental car, 50 pounds of bag, and also a lavish hotel. To each their own. Like #1, best to figure this out in advance.
3) Not every action needs to be a group action
I’ve made this error before. Just because you’re traveling together, doesn’t mean you need to do everything together. Actually, the best groups I’ve traveled with commonly did do things separately. Not every day of course, but every few days. It made for exciting conversation at dinner.
4) If you can be flexible, do
As with absolutely any relationship, there are going to have to be compromises. The difficulty when traveling with friends is the mechanism for compromise isn’t as ingrained as it's using a spouse (presumably). Also, somebody is going to be a bit more of a finicky eater, a bit more squeamish about accommodations, a bit more worried about cash.
So if you can compromise, do. Stand earth when you must, but being more like water and going together with the flow will make everything go smoother. This really is likely the single largest change for me that made my journeys with friends better. It’s also a lot easier for me to be this way since I travel on a regular basis and when I lose something I rather needed to do, I can simply return.
Nonetheless,
5) Do Not be TOO laid back
This really is the counterpoint to #4. Occasionally my buddies would get frustrated because I 'dn’t make a decision, not understanding that I actually was OK with whatever. Consequently make it known when you’re needed to make a decision, you’re happy to do that.
6) Everyone will need some private time
This one was recommended by my friend Gondola. We’ve traveled together several times, so I’m hoping this isn't a not so subtle hint. Regardless, it’s great guidance. Everyone needs some “me” time, particularly introverts traveling in a group. It’s not being anti social, it’s merely some quiet time (or music infused time) to recharge the social batteries. As an example, with Gondola and I, she’d wind down at the end of the day watching shows on her notebook, while I’d listen to music and work.
Factoring that in, and keeping #3 in head, will make things a lot simpler.
7) Don’t focus on cents
Cash is the cause of more arguments among friends than likely anything else. If you let yourself fixate on several dollars in some places, it’s going to ruin your trip, and if it blows up into something, risk everyone’s excursion. Unless someone is clearly and intentionally skimming or cheating, well wait, why have you been traveling with that person in the first place? But like I said in #4, only let it slip.
That said..
8) Figure out how to split meals before you go
It’s likely better to create what the money plan is ahead of time. Chances are someone makes less than everyone else and is not getting excited about splitting a $400 meal 6 ways when all they had was pasta.
Discussing it ahead of time also gives an embarrassed party to discuss it separately in the group.
Regardless, approach this issue with caution. I’ve screwed this up a number of times, unknowingly.
9) Don’t make ANY choices when hungry or stressed
This is essentially the most crucial rule. It consistently amazes me how few people recognize that everybody gets SUPER cranky when they’re famished. It’s called "hangry," and holy Cthulhu does it lead to arguments. Just how do married couples not notice this?
Add the strain of passage to the mix (getting to an airport, missing a train etc) and together these are terrible times to truly have a serious dialog. Recall #4? Again here. Let the cranky be cranky. Get them food. THEN determine what the dilemma is.
10) As in all things, communication is crucial
A group dynamic is a fickle, fine thing. Don’t let things fester. Don’t let things develop. I’ve seen this happen and it’s toxic. A presumed slight, a mistake on a check, any number of things can appear to be an issue but digging deeper, aren’t. Guys notably aren’t normally accustomed to discussing honestly with their mates. A calm but clumsy conversation is ALWAYS a lot better than the usual fervent disagreement.
11) Discuss before you go.
What premarital counseling would be to marriage (e.g. ensuring you both want children, or you both desire to live in a log cabin in Alaska before you say, "I do"), a frank, honest dialogue about how to travel together is to your trip. Before you pack your bags, make sure you discuss your expectations, how you love traveling, how you visualize your daily routine, what you want to complete, what's and isn't okay to you, what you are willing to compromise on, and so forth. It may sound pedantic, but differences in traveling styles and priorities are what create the misunderstandings, disagreements, and animosity that could quickly ruin your excursion, and also your friendship.
12) Money money money.
Before you start planning anything, openly discuss budgets – How much, and on what, are you willing and/or competent to invest? Creating and agreeing to monetary parameters beforehand might be a trip saver. All things considered, one traveler's bargain may be another's bank breaker.
13) Here kitty kitty.
I encouraged 11 of my friends and family to spend a week with me in a villa I rented in Positano. The prospect of trying to split bills 12 manners (especially after several cocktails) was untenable, so instead I instituted a "kitten" system and asked everyone to make an equal-cash contribution to fund agreed upon group activities and meals. To keep things extremely reasonable, if one of us consistently drank more, or purchased more expensive items, he/she only put a little additional to the kitten. We enlisted our most mathematically inclined friend, Kelly, who we quickly nicknamed Kitty Kelly, to be in charge, and she alone paid bills and kept tabs on the kitten. If the kitty ran low, we all put an equivalent sum of cash again. Whether you are traveling with one friend or ten, a call for the pot means less pressure with no time wasted hassling over who owes money to whom, or who paid for what.
14) Compromise on compromising.
Whoever said, "When we compromise, everyone wins" was an idiot. When traveling, compromising means no one gets to do exactly what he or she really wants, unless . . . you take turns compromising. In other words, I may not have any interest in going to that museum, but my traveling companion may not want to go on that boat ride through the swamp either. So, I Will visit the museum with zero criticism, a completely open mind, and the intention to enjoy myself, in exchange for which my traveling company is going to do the same on Das Boat. Now we both get just what we want, and nine times out of 10, you end up enjoying an encounter you'll likely have never attempted otherwise. So much better than left both first picks to get another or third choice you can both agree on.
15) Go your own personal way (it is possible to go your own personal way).
On the other hand, splitting up for a couple hours or days to undertake actions which can be important to you personally, but not to your traveling partner, is perfectly okay. You get to have your cake and eat also – the good thing about traveling having a friend, but the freedom to research particular facets of the itinerary alone. Besides, a little alone time is the ideal remedy for too much together time.
16) Ready, set, go get prepared first.
Whoever takes more to get ready has to start getting ready first. That's the rule, unless the person who gets prepared quicker does not mind being prepared and then having to wait for the individual who takes more. Who has to wake up first to shower so you're not late? The one who takes more to get ready. Who has to leave the seashore first to be sure you make your reservation? The one who takes longer to get ready. Follow this convention and peace will reign.
17) Recall, it is temporary.
You have both spent precious time, and most probable, limited disposable income, to be wherever you're, and all either of you need is always to be joyful and also have a great time. You're not moving in together eternally. You are on vacation to get a couple weeks, or months (worst case), so suck it up. If she desires to sleep in, but you would like to get up and going early, who cares? You get up and going and let her sleep in and consent to meet somewhere in a couple of hours. She desires the lights off early? Bring an eBook with back lighting. Surely it is possible to survive a week this way? If he really doesn't quit chewing his food so loudly you are going to lose it? Knock it off. Have a piña colada, be grateful you have a buddy who is willing to travel with you, and enjoy your holiday.
Trust me on that one.
Do you have some hints about traveling with buddies? Enter a comment below.